My Outlaw

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hat

It has been a while since you left me here,
You returned home and I wish you were near.
I hope and I pray I will see you again.
I hope that our parting wasn’t the end.

Not knowing is the part that hurts so much,
At times I lie awake, just longing for your touch,
I wish you were still here with me.
I keep holding on to all these memories.

Our time together was intense, but brief
And since you have been gone, I have felt loneliness and grief.
I should never have let you touch that part of my soul,
Deep within my heart, that I thought was frozen and old.

You awakened in me, a pleasure and youth so fulfilling and new.
A rebirth of my joy and I was both scared and confused.
I bid you farewell, I knew you had to go
And at the same time I wanted it so.

But now I want so badly to have you back in my arms,
To hold you close and to feel your warmth.
I miss you like crazy, even if it is wrong.
I am tired of tuning the radio and hearing that song.

It reminds me of you and what we could have been.
I told you at the beginning I just wanted to be friends.
But, lovers we became and we knew it would not last.
I played with fire and felt an explosive blast.

I had it perfectly planned and knew what I was doing.
But you had to go and be so charming, hell, who am I fooling?
You didn’t even care, you don’t care now, I fell for your games.
I bet you sit there laughing, thinking I am so lame.

I was your friend, loyal and true.
I never lied, mistreated, or disrespected you.
It hurts every day and you just cannot see
What your blocking and cutting me out is doing to me.

I did not plan this and I may just be an old fool
To have fallen for an outlaw like you.
I knew you were a liar, I caught you in your tales,
But I also saw that softer momma’s boy side you try to keep veiled.

There is not a day that goes by that I don’t think about you
And all of the things that we used to do.
I just want you to know that I hurt every day
And I ride this roller coaster and merry-go-round of pain.

I would just like to know what it is you have done
To make me wonder if you are having fun.
Why do i care so much? I know I didn’t want more,
But being cut out completely was totally uncalled for.

I am angry and hurt and I long to see what could be.
But, I will push on through the pain, because that is just me.
Perhaps it was never meant to be.
But you touched something deep inside of me.

I will go on with my light burning bright.
But deep inside, I thank you and I hate you for turning on that light.
You see my darling outlaw…I just don’t know what to say…
Except that I think of you and miss you ..more and more each and every day.

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