My Disappearing Act

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I haven’t posted in a while. This is definitely not the way to make my writing  flourish. I see myself beginning to become victim to the insanity of life or those patterns and habits that I truly know are not conducive to growth. I am fixing this today. This should be my therapy for those days when I feel like the big rock of lumpy caramel sitting on the couch in front of the screen next to that overfull ashtray. I need to get the thoughts out.

But what about those negative thoughts? Do I banish them as well? I tend to use them most times in my poetry. But not all of these are very poetic. There are things I need and I want and over thinking is not a habit I can lose easily. I tend to worry when I need to let it go, I try to focus and it is at these moments when I become so weighed down in negativity that I become that melted blob on the sofa. Perhaps the blob should just strike the keys and blabber and get this keyboard sticky. It is due to that sticky mess that my mid section feels weighed down.

For such a self-professed optimist, these bouts of negativity sure come up and turn me into such a lump of a mess of unrecognizable uselessness. I am just gonna babble and see what happens. The sarcasm will seep through and maybe the humor can as well.

 

The previous paragraphs were written a few months ago. Before the summer began, before I went off line for a bit, and before the Historic Flood of 2016  in Louisiana. It looks as though I could foresee the future. Before this flood and a little since I have been that blob.

I have lost my optimism, fell into a depression and not been as productive.This seems to be a recurring pattern. I hope it is just a pattern I have broken. This summer has been a mound of experience that I intend to share with my followers and my readers. We are going to take this journey to another level. I am back on track and the therapy begins today. Thank  God for all his grace, love, and mercy. God is Good!

 

 

Update

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I would just like to thank everyone who has been reading or following me. I am sorry for the time I have been off line. I am now organizing things in a better way and soon will be back to posting on a more frequent basis.

I have been super busy with life. There have been many changes and lessons going on that have kept me from here, but that is all about to be over. I have much to share with you and the world. I am excited to be back and look forward to posting more in the days and weeks to come.

 

God Bless all and have a wonderful day!

Looking for May Flowers

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flowers

April showers are supposed to bring May flowers. We have certainly had our fair share of April showers. But, this first day of May brings only more storms and warnings for our area. These are typical spring storms for this time of year. Eventually we will get into the pattern of blissfully hot days and those pop-up afternoon thunderstorms that can vary in strength. I cannot wait for those even warmer days.   Continue reading

Getting it off my chest

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Staring at screens all day has become a way of life. I try not to succumb to the pressures of our world. I try to dance to my own beat but, you know we all do it.

There is the computer screen.(How else can I blog?). There is my tablet that I use at work. Then, our cell phones which have become like a ball and chain.(What would we do without Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, or constant email updates? Not to mention all those text messages from others who are too busy to talk but can send you a message and wait two hours or ten seconds for you to respond). Finally, when we seek comfort and relaxation after a long day of blogging, texting, and emailing  we find ourselves staring at a television screen.

Most of the time I fall asleep staring at one screen or another and wake up searching for one of the others. My eyes hurt most days. My neck is stiff. I am tired and wish I could just sleep until next week.

I just want a warm cup of coffee in the morning, money in my bank account, my rent paid, and for my girls not to fight. Somehow it seems I am asking for too much.

sipping-coffeeDon’t get me wrong, I am extremely grateful for all that i have. I have more than i had a year ago. I have more than I had four months ago. I just wish I would finally find that peace and balance of a boring routine that will be comfortable and I would not have this headache because I am longing for my drugs of choice (nicotine and caffeine).

I just want a happy home. I want healthy children. I am in a slump at the moment and in full swing of major changes. Just when you think things are calming down, BOOM! another change comes in. The next moment I seem to be crying about why the changes aren’t fast enough. I thank God for all my blessings but I seem to always be struggling.

I have started to make peace with myself. I take deep breaths, dig a little deeper and keep moving. It helps to walk each day, to write each day, and to pray each day. This is what I am doing. I know I should not give up or give in. These are not an options. I just know that some days are harder than others. I no longer want these rough days. I long for the peace and comfort of home and stability.

 

Stolen Words: When Doves Fly

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BRILLIANT! Superb tribute!

along the side of the road

Stolen Words are my compilations of lyrics used to make a new piece of prose of sorts.  The lyrics are ‘stolen’ from the songs I hear while listening to SiriusXM.  Usually, I surf my favourite channels to gather the lyrics however for this piece I was only tuned in to two channels, The Loft and The Groove, where they have been doing tributes to Prince.  All of the lyrics for this piece are from original Prince songs.

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